The saddest day

Today is a sad day. There have been many in 2018, just 2 months in, but today is definitely the saddest of all.

It feels like I was punched in the face.
It feels like I was called out and humiliated in front of everyone.
It feels like after 25years of growing/learning/working I was told I’ve wasted my time.
It feels like someone told me I had a disability and I can’t be like others.

Today I got rejected from a job I so desperately wanted for so many reasons. I won’t name them nor will I say why I this one was so important, but to put in context I have already faced lots of rejection in my life and this was more painful than the rest –

  • I remember applying every day to several places after uni for any unpaid/intern role in my field and it took 6months.
  • I remember trying to get any part time retail job in Australia during 4 years of uni (I already had retail experience from Singapore) and didn’t get any for 4 years.
  • I remember applying for a different role within my company for almost a year and not getting it.

I’ve been through a hell lot of rejection.

Yet it never gets easier.

The goddess said “You are holding a bright lamp, yet you are seeking fire.”

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